Category Archives: Governor

Comparing the Benches

So with the Republican National Conference over and the Democratic National Convention starting, one only has to look at the speakers to see who the rising stars (“the benches”) are for each party. Let’s put them in a depth chart

Republicans:

  • First String: VA Gov. Bob McDonnell; WI Gov. Scott Walker; SC Gov. Nikki Haley; NJ Gov. Chris Christie; LA Gov. Bobby Jindal; SD Sen. John Thune; Former Sec. of State Condoleezza Rice; WI  Rep. Paul Ryan; FL Sen. Marco Rubio
  • Second String: NH Sen. Kelly Ayotte; OK Gov. Mary Fallin; NV Gov. Brian Sandoval; KY Sen. Rand Paul; OH Sen. Rob Portman; PR Gov. Luis Fortuño; NM Gov. Susana Martinez; Former FL Gov. Jeb Bush; TX Sen. Ted Cruz
  • Third String: ND Sen. John Hoeven; TN Rep. Marsha Blackburn; WA Rep. Cathy McMorris-Rodgers; Saratoga Springs Mayor Mia Love; OH Gov. John Kasich; Former MN Gov. Tim Pawlenty

Democrats

  • First String: CO Gov. John Hickenlooper; Former VA Gov. Tim Kaine; MD Gov. Martin O’Malley; Secretary of State Hillary Clinton; MT Gov. Brian Schweitzer; MA Senate Candidate Elizabeth Warren
  • Second String: Newark Mayor Corey Booker; San Antonio Mayor Julian Castro; Chicago Mayor Rahm Emmanuel; Charlotte Mayor Anthony Foxx; NC Sen. Kay Hagan; Philadelphia Mayor Michael Nutter; Vice President Joe Biden; MN Senator Amy Klobuchar; Los Angeles Mayor Antonio Vilagarossa
  • Third String: WI Senate Candidate Tammy Baldwin; House of Representatives Candidate Joaquin Castro; MA Gov. Deval Patrick; Former OH Gov. Ted Strickland; Houston Mayor Annisse Parker

Rick Perry Will Get Stood Up at Prom This Year

 

Governor Perry, your time is up.

 

You are the state’s longest serving Governor. You ran for President and failed miserably. You utterly destroyed the career of our most effective advocate for Texas, Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison.

You may pick up your prize at 1246 TAMU, Texas A&M University College Station, TX 77643. Because come 2015, the only thing you have going for you is the presidency of your alma mater (p.s., I wouldn’t stick that on my resume).

Slicky Ricky is so desperate for a date nowadays he ginned up this little number: Texans First. A “philanthropic angel investor group” (say what?) focusing on good governance, civic participation, and “keeping elected officials accountable.” What does Ricky have to do with his? Simple: he’s lost his street cred. He let a no one (read: Debra Medina) run to the right of him in the 2010 primary. He ran for President and failed miserably and lost to a guy who is the national equivalent of Kay Bailey, but a man and Mormon. His chosen boy, Lt. Gov. David Dewhurst, lost to someone who people didn’t even know until a few months ago. Does Perry have any sway in the state he built and staffed and appointed with cronies and drinking buddies?

I say no. Texans First is Perry’s pathetically lame attempt to court the new GOP freshmen going to Austin for the 2013 legislative session. Here is the letter sent to those freshmen by Texans (Perry) First:

Congratulations on winning your race. You earned it. Now comes the hard part–delivering on the promises you made, so Texas avoids becoming a high-tax, over-regulated, lawsuit riddled disaster like California.

Benjamin Franklin cautioned, “We most all hang together, or assuredly we shall all hang separately. That’s why those of us at Texas First, a group of liberty minded entrepreneurs who are dedicated to the same principles you are, want to invite you to an intimate gathering of legislative policy leaders, policy experts, and successful entrepreneurs. If you will come, we promise you a day of deep principled discussion and serious commitments you won’t soon forget.

This is Slick Rick trying to fix his reputation and image. The 2013 session won’t be a nice one, having to deal with a budget shortfall, education funding, women’s reproductive rights, possibly raising taxes and fees to cover shortfalls, and potentially, squaring off with a President Mitt Romney he talked a lot of bullshit about. He knows how vulnerable he is on the right. His presidential run, combined with the TTC and HPV, make him ripe for a primary challenge. He won’t stop mentioning 2016, because he knows his future in Texas politics is o-v-e-r. The lower-rungs are nipping at his heels to move up: AG Greg Abbot, Comptroller Susan Combs, LG Dewhurst, Land Commissioner Jerry Patterson, Agriculture Commissioner Todd Staples. Everyone is ready to move up a rung, with Patterson already declaring his intentions to run for LG, Dew or no Dew.

2014 won’t be kind to Rick Perry. Texans are fed up (hehe, ironic). Greg Abbot will run and win the GOP primary. Dew won’t win (and probably won’t run in) the primary. Combs, Staples, Patterson, Abbot are all moving up. Debra Medina wants to run for Comptroller. The guard is changing due to a bunch of Texans ready to march to the right of Perry. Good for Texas? No. Good for getting rid of Perry? Yes.

Keep an eye on the 2013 session and going into the 2014 cycle. The GOP in Washington and Austin aren’t listening to Perry anymore. It’s Cruz time: full speed ahead!

“The Separation of Church and Chicken”: Crying Fowl

This is a subject near and dear to my heart (and by near to my heart, I mean my stomach). I don’t think I need to recap the Chick-Fil-A controversy to anyone because Facebook did a good enough job on that…by definition, Facebook became the peanut gallery of public opinions by anyone and everyone (yay First Amendment rights!)

So earlier this week, my always-known-to-say-something-stupid Governor, Rick Perry (Idiot-Texas) felt the need for his opinion to be known. And what did he have to say?

“When conservatives are offended by a corporate policy, we simply choose not to give them our business,” explained Perry, according to the AP. He continued that when it comes to liberals, they “try to keep everyone else from giving them business.”

Let’s go over that one, Governor Goodhair. As I recall, the GLBT community and its allies merely engaged in a boycott. That involved them not buying the product (aka, not giving CFA their business). I fail to recall anything on the news regarding GLBT activists and allies blocking entrances to CFA restaurants or hijacking CFA trucks full of chicken patties (on a side note, if someone wanted to hijack one and leave it in front of my house, well, by all means, please do!). So Governor, in your famous words: “oops!”

Guess what I’ll be doing in 2014? Not giving Governor Perry my business, because I am offended by his everything. Mostly embarrassing my state by being Governor.

In your words: Adios mofo

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